I haven’t spent any proper time in England, where I was born, for years.
However, on Sunday I got back from a week’s training at Southampton Solent University. It was a lot of fun, and I got to meet with lots of interesting international people and contribute to the ongoing development of the Marilang project.
I spent a week in England and discovered that I no longer feel at home there. On the simplest of levels, things are different: the money looks different, the prices have gone up, Brexit is on the news all the time these days. But my feeling of unease is more profound: I’ve become a bit German. I waited at the traffic lights instead of jaywalking, I put my cigarette ends in the bin instead of just dumping them, I even spoke German with my colleagues when I wanted to be frank.
When I first came to Germany I thought I was an outsider working my way inside. It wasn’t until I went to Southampton that I realised another truth: I was an insider here, and I’ve worked my way outside.
Bittersweet as this feeling is, it’s for the best; Britain hasn’t been doing too well recently. Germany, on the other hand, has been kind to me: a wife and child, our own house, interesting projects and maybe, one day, citizenship.
Don’t look back just keep moving forward. Whatever you are doing, you are doing right.
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You’re right, of course. It’s just as though I’ve been swimming on my back, looking at the sky, heedless of how far I’ve come. Then you look up at the shore and see it for yourself. Has that ever happened to you?
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Oh, I love this! This gives me hope that I will one day feel like an “insider” here in Germany. I know I feel like an outside in America(I felt that way while I still lived there). I do love it here in Germany, and it has been good to us too.
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It’s something that sneaks up on you, you’ll see!
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🙂
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Well written. Also, interesting profession you’re in. Marilang seems like an important thing to be developed.
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Yes! It’s really important for shipping, logistics, global integration generally…
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Yes! I feel like this too. I love in Dubai and I don’t feel like England is my home anymore. I haven’t been back to visit in 2 years now and no plans for the future either. Great post!
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I bet Dubai is very different to both Germany and England, I’ve never been though.
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I don’t know you but I really liked your reflection. At the bottom line, the world is our primary home..
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