Becoming German, englishman abroad

The time has come for better things

“The time has come,” the Walrus said,
“To talk of many things:
Of shoes–and ships–and sealing-wax–
Of cabbages–and kings–
And why the sea is boiling hot–
And whether pigs have wings.”

The Walrus and The Carpenter, Through the Looking-Glass (1872), Lewis Carrol

One of the more popular refrains in British media at the moment is that people are sick and tired of the Brexit process and want to get it over and done with, one way or the other.  In a similar vein, January saw an opinion piece in the Guardian entitled “What we don’t talk about when we only talk about Brexit”.

In my own life, I’ve been far too close to burning out over Brexit. I read the news from several sources obsessively. Maybe today would be the day, I thought, that my country turned back from its course towards rocks. Maybe today would be the day it heeded the lighthouse. Maybe today would be the day the bridge crew woke up.

Years passed this way. The last few months have seemed like the longest of the whole process. Vote, delay, repeat. Britain is nearly out of time now and parliament is due to vote (yet again, another conversation with itself) on 12th March. The last two weeks after that will probably last for eternity.

March 29th is Brexit day.

But I no longer care! I have finally fulfilled my New Year’s resolution! This afternoon I was at the Ausländerbehörde again, handed in my Sprachzertifikat and other documents, and got a certificate which confirms that, on receiving it, I became German.

So what can I talk about, now that I’m not talking about Brexit?

For starters, my wife and I are expecting our second child in April; I’m going to be a father again!

My daughter Aurelia has her birthday in a couple of weeks; she’ll be 7!

I put up my first fence the other day; it’s shit!

I’m doing a Master’s degree; it’s tricky!

I’m off to Hamburg next week for the kick-off meeting of a German project, and then off to Cadiz for an EU project.

Life can finally continue without the sea boiling or pigs flying.

 

Becoming German, englishman abroad

Halfway there

Well, I got my results back for the first of the two tests that I need to pass in order to get German citizenship. The DTZ (Deutsch Test für Zuwanderer) language test is in, and I passed. I don’t want to to boast, but I was one point off 100%.

Ok, Ok! That actually sounds a lot more impressive than it really is, it was only a B1 level test. Still, acing a test at one level typically means you are at least the level above it (B2). So that’s me happy. I can speak sufficient German to survive in Germany in everyday life.

All I need to do now is sit tight, and await the results of my Citizenship Test (Einbürgerungstest).

Becoming German, englishman abroad

The German Citizenship Test

Yesterday I took the German Citizenship Test (Einbürgerungstest). I had practised several times before, using on of the many online mock tests. I passed every time, most recently with 32 points out of 33, but that’s just a mock test. The real test was actually significantly harder! At least it seemed so to me. In reality, the questions on the mock test are exactly the same as the real test (no, memorising the answers isn’t really practical, the test draws from over 300 possible questions). Most of the online tests were pretty softball, whereas this real test asked questions like this:

How were the occupation zones in Germany set up after 1945?

besatzungszonen

A. 1=UK, 2=USSR, 3=France, 4=USA

B. 1=USSR, 2=UK, 3=USA, 4= France

C. 1=UK, 2=USSR, 3=USA, 4= France

D. 1=UK, 2=USA, 3=USSR, 4= France

This is fairly easy if you know some history, and you can guess it if you know some basic geography, but it’s still a pretty tricky question for a layman like me.

Anyway, After I’d finished the test, I counted all of the answers I’d given that I wasn’t 100% sure about. There were 14. You need 17 correct answers (out of 33 questions) to pass the test.  Therefore, I’m fairly confident I passed the test.

Compared to my experience of the DTZ test, this test was far quicker (I was done in 20 minutes) and the candidates were far better behaved.

So that’s it. That is really all I can do to pave the way for German naturalisation in time for March 29th, Brexit Day. All I can do now is wait for the results for both tests and visit the Ausländerbehörde again once they have arrived. Fingers crossed.

englishman abroad

Roll on 2019

I had intended to write a blog on the 5th December about Nikolaustag in Germany, but I was too busy.

I had intended to write a blog on the 15th December about German Christmas Markets, but I never went.

I had intended to write a blog today along the lines of last year’s “Resolutions” post, but it isn’t appropriate this year.

There is a theme that has been unavoidable, inexorably drilling its way into my daily consciousness with growing urgency for some months now, and that theme is Brexit. And that is what I am going to talk about.

Here are some facts:

  • In fewer than 100 days, the UK will reach its deadline to leave the EU
  • The EU and UK have both started to implement their no-deal scenario planning
  • The UK government has refused to hold a second referendum or to present a reasonable deal capable of winning support in parliament

With a no-deal Brexit looking increasingly likely (it has been the default option all along) I will no longer be a citizen of Europe on the 30th March 2019. To be honest, this is less than ideal. I live and work in Germany with my German wife and children. My life is in Germany. I am in Germany.

True, the EU has called on all member states to ensure that citizen’s rights are protected in the event of no-deal, but only if such rights are reciprocated for EU Citizens in the UK. This does not fill me with confidence. I have followed the news, and politics especially, for the last two years with a hawk’s eyes and Brexit has been a slow-motion suicide from the start. The UK cabinet has been self-servingly careerist and short-sighted throughout. A look at the assorted vainglorious Brexit resignations confirms this.

Both Labour and the Conservatives are being deliberately or, worse, unknowingly, dishonest with the public; they continue in that fine political tradition of squandering an international opportunity to pander to a national audience.

For the last six months, I’ve been obsessed with the latest Brexit developments, and it has driven me slightly mad. I’m far too busy with other things to expend such effort on worrying.

So here is my new year’s resolution: I will accept that Brexit is beyond my control, and get on with life.

And apply for German citizenship.

englishman abroad, Teaching English

… and then three come along at once

I’m giving up some of my work to make time for more work. The freelance Business English side of my work has been rather disappointing recently. Specifically, there was this one big firm that just didn’t have any lessons for months and months. “don’t worry!” they said, “we’ll be back next week!”

Well, they said that for six months and that left a big hole in my plans and finances. Unfortunately, there’s nothing to stop all of my other freelancing gigs from doing the same thing…

 … so to hell with it! I’m minimising my freelance work and prioritising another more predictable and more lucrative project now. I’m currently doing twice as much work for the time being, handing off my old clients to new people and segueing into my new project. I’m very busy!

There’s also plenty of work to be done in my work as a lecturer: one of my two university courses is presenting coursework and writing essays, the other one is about to have exams which I am writing. I’m very busy!

There’s also a house we’re looking at and a couple of top-secret projects I can’t write about yet. Unfortunately, all of this busyness has kept me away from my two pet projects, this blog and Brexpats, for a while.

It’s just like buses: you wait six months for one and then three turn up at once!